“Compassion will cure more sins than condemnation.” – Henry Ward Beecher
I got an email today from someone I once loved dearly, admired and respected and I’m having a hard time.
The ‘once’ is in there because this person whom I shall call DU, hurt someone else I love dearly who will be called LM.
At first, we thought illness and disability was the reason for the implosion of the relationship and since it is between them and there are two sides to every story, I continued to love and support them equally, as best I could. They were both like family to me.
LM had cared for me when I was a child, had loved me and lived with my immediate family for a number of years before meeting DU. When DU was welcomed into the circle of friends and family, we felt a sense of completion, love and delight, it was a perfect match.
Then a shocking revelation emerged, slowly, over time, through other friends and family members.
DU had been committing grievous betrayals that became evident once enough time and distance was placed between them. This news divided dear family and friends who were once people I enjoyed seeing at family gatherings. They became silent strangers over night.
I witnessed the initial betrayal increase exponentially and split apart several families, children and loved ones.
I am still very hurt.
I was one of many people who talked LM through tears, grief and anguish, watched how LM was affected, financially, emotionally, left to an empty house of memories they built together for decades…all gone in a phone call.
It’s been several years since the initial bomb dropped and the fall out is only now contained, barely. LM is still scarred and reeling and will probably never, fully heal.
Now this email, probably written during a chilly and lonely night, arrives in my inbox from DU, after almost a year since we spoke, asking where we stand.
I cannot. My loyalty is to LM and while I still feel compassion for DU, we can no longer be in each other’s lives. It makes me sad but I wasn’t the one who pulled the plug on our family circle.
Sadness is all I feel.