Cheeseburger in Paradise

This is SO true. In Canada, the sugary, fatty and preservative-laden food the poor eat contributes to diabetes raging through our First Nations population like wild fire.

Our Process

For further reading, please check out the following two articles:

Deseret News: The Pain of Calorie-rich Malnutrition in the United States and

Deseret News: A Food Stamp Paradox: Starving Isn’t the Issue — It’s Access to Nutritious Foods.

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Is It Hot In Here?….Or Is It Just Me?

So B. has decided, since she’s gone back to work, that apparently, she can now take over the world.

She has started working out and has decided her next goal in life aside from going back to school is to become a body builder.

B and I have kind of a butch (me) / femme (her) thing going on.

She’s a little shorter than me but definitely curvier and can put muscle on like no one I’ve ever seen.

When B was in cooking school, the chefs would make her whip things by hand…in our first year of dating, her hands were like steel and her arms were sinewy, veiny, tattooed hotness.

It’s weird how gender and sexuality move in such a weirdly fluid way sometimes.

Sometimes I can’t help but get creeped out at how I melt when she, being a diverse and multi-faceted person, makes jokes like a frat boy while wearing a dress and heels….

…Or how she can fix things around the house when really, I’m mostly good for brute strength and grunt work…ditch digging, lifting couches…that sorta thing.

Anyway, when B exhibits her female masculinity, I turn my head like a dog and perk my hears like I heard something only audible to canines…”huh? wow…your hot!”

I like that B can make me surprise myself by finding something sexy that normal doesn’t do anything….

Also neat is that she’s possessive without being creepy/abusive.

When someone ‘notices’ me, B. notices them back, with another dog like behaviour…MINE!!

While I don’t endorse jealous behaviour, sometimes it’s nice to know your partner gets their feathers ruffled when someone shows you flirty attention.

Here’s a sexy quote for your pleasure:

“ When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. ” –Matt Groening

The Fullness Of My Circle

“There has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it.” – Buddha

I have embraced the circle as my symbol for the present.

This might sound peculiar but it makes perfect sense that the universe would draw me to this symbol.

In 2005 I moved to my current city because of a woman.

I wasn’t so much, running toward her as I was, running away from the straight world and all that it encompassed for me.

10 days later, I answered the phone and a female voice answered. It was another woman and I knew then, I had made a mistake.

For reasons I can’t fathom, recognising she had a drinking problem, was irresponsible and couldn’t hold down a job, I stayed with her for 2 years.

It was, as some counsellors call it, domestic terrorism; I was awoken at all hours, called all names, threatened, screamed at, ridiculed and used – for my extra income and stability.

In the end, it came to blows, on her end, not mine. As the taller and stronger one, I allowed her to lash out at me physically. I did only what I needed to do in order to protect myself.

“I’ll call the cops and tell them you beat me,” she snarled, a sharp whiff of beer on her breath, her legs unsteady.
I did what I could to wrestle the only phone in the house away from her and dialled 911 while she fought to pry the baseball bat she was threatening me with, from underneath my legs.

“My ex-girlfriend is trying to kill me,” I panted into the phone.

The next day, I walked into the office at a health clinic in my city and asked for help.

“You need to help me so that what happened never happens to me again,”

“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” -Kenji Miyazawa

That journey got me to meet a lot of wonderful people. I stumbled and fell and did stupid things for a while, but I figured it out.

I spent some time alone and during that time, I met my wonderful wife.

She has supported my career change from media to psychology and now I’m returning the knowledge and the experience back to the community.

Full circle for me means coming back to the community, offering others who’ve experienced the violation of self by someone intimate the support they need to reclaim their lost selves.

It’s seven years now since I first stepped in to that situation and I am older, stronger and smarter.

Not to mention, I am far more certain of what I will tolerate before I cut you loose as a friend or lover.

I have lots to do before I finish my group proposal on how I will help women who’ve been hurt by other women, but I plan to do the best I can for as many people who graciously accept my help.

Sharing my knowledge and giving compassion is what I must do with my life now.

“On life’s journey faith is nourishment, virtuous deeds are a shelter, wisdom is the light by day and right mindfulness is the protection by night. If a man lives a pure life, nothing can destroy him.” – Buddha

A Visual Clue

Sometimes people need a punch in the face in order to take a hint.-monkiss

Ha! quoted muhself.

I know it might be weird since my healing progress is going well, but I bought a cane a few days ago.

All the struggling onto buses by drivers who think my stablising boot is some sort of fashion statement, all the people getting mad at me for sitting in the priority seating area, made me realise people are completely and utterly stupid and need flashcards.

Wanna know who won't get up outta priority seating for me? ....this guy....and his whole damn posse

So I bought a cane and low and behold! The bus driver started using the kneeling thingy, people started offering me seats, it’s a bloody miracle!! Because the limping didn’t give it away, the brace made of steel and foam that I nicknamed the iron maiden is not obvious enough.

The crazy thing is, it actually made a huge difference in my pain, the massive overcompensating pain is less, uh, massive. Huzzah!

It’s also my first full time week back at work. Ugliness….ugliness personified. I scrabble around on hardwood floors and my motions have made my wife and I giggle our new turn of phrase for my fruitless movements…seal pupping!

This is how I get from place to place, on my belly...wooo good times

Well, I have a bottle neck situation in my brain, there’s so much I wanna write about that I don’t know where to start and so my writing is minimal. I’ll sort it out while I wait to get my computer back…the one I’m using belongs to the in-law.

g’night dear readers! monkiss