Dykes with tikes

My wife and I love children, we’re extremely excitedly heading down the road of trying to conceive in the next year and a bit.

I would like 3 or 4 and I think we’re of the same mind on this. Well, we’re in agreement until we go through our first pregnancy together, ha, I’m sure we’ll change our tune!

For two lesbians, this is a challenge because you have to pick the donor, track your ovulation, buy some samples, deal with homophobic doctors (there are lots!) and people who still don’t realise that when I say “wife” I mean WIFE as in, this is Canada and same-sex marriage has been legal for 7 god damn years.

*phew* I digress.

I think when it comes to having children, despite my rigorous research in parenting books, blogs and friends with kids, I still have more questions than answers:

The teenage years…I know I was giant a-hole and from my mother in law’s reports, so was my dress wearing, soft spoken wife!

The one thing I’m sort of happy about is that our kids will have 2 parents that tried every mind altering substance known to humanity, every juvenile criminal activity (stupid things, no murders or armed robberies)
…and a host of things not published in the kama sutra….there’s not much they could try to clumsily hide from us without us knowing.

What will the kid call us, mommy and….? hell as long as it’s not a 4 letter word, I should be cool with whatever.

How do I squish homophobes like bugs while showing our kids compassion and respect for other people?
I don’t wanna look like a douche.

What about when one says ‘who’s the real mom’?
What should do first, give ’em a right hook or tell them we both are?

Worst of all, what do I do when they start asking for keys to my motorcycle?