Thanking Your Suffering

“Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” – Proverb

I have posted so many rants and anecdotes about what’s not worked and what’s been difficult to deal with, that it only seems right that I should let you in on the wonderful in my life.

It reminds of the quote about the lotus flower needing the mud. In order to grow and be beautiful, it requires a little mud and a little rain. And thus, so do our lives.

What makes my life awesome right now is:

My official acceptance letter for university arrived yesterday. weeeee!

I got the job I’ve been wanting for a year!

Dear B. and I are taking our dates to the gym and it’s really eliciting some lovely results.

My neurological tests are slowly coming back to show the seizures/fainting spells I suffered which made me housebound in the winter are anomalies! No chronic illness to indicate more seizures. Phew!

It’s raining today and I LOOOOOVE the rain and cool weather 🙂

What’s making your life awesome? Are you in your period of adversity before the triumph??

In honour of triumph over adversity, some quotes!

“There is no education like adversity” – Benjamin Disraeli

“It is under the greatest adversity that there exists the greatest potential for doing good, both for oneself and others.”

We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival.
Winston Churchill

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Peace and wellness to you, my blog friends, monkiss

My Private Remembrance Day

“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”-Buddha

I am coming up on a time that is bitter sweet for me and it influences my life so profoundly to this very day.

The time I speak of is that pivotal moment in every person’s life who has ever been in the closet.

When you’re hoarse from running, exhausted and scared at every shadow, every whisper and every look feels like the weight of the elephant in the room. It is time. When you are paranoid that the world knows your secret and judges you for it. It is time.

But the only one tormented into the early morning, day in and day out, is you.

One day, as if by accident, while looking over your shoulder, you run smack into that thing you’ve been running from and it hits you in the face in a sometimes very real and painful way.

For me, it was being proposed marriage to, by a guy I had been in a relationship with for a long time and being caught up in the moment enough to say yes, only to have the yes tie itself around my throat like a noose.

Was I walking down the aisle or to the gallows?

I knew marrying this man was a death sentence for my inner self. It would kill my true self, my feelings, my struggles, my creativity and my plans for the life I wanted and was too cowardly at that point to reach out and grab.

When I finally took that great leap, it was painful and ugly.

I laboured to give birth to myself under lonely conditions. But I was proud when it was over. Not that it ever ends.

You come out every day in casual conversation, when someone says, ‘what does your husband do?’ or even things like division of household chores or workplace emergency contact lists or hospital waiting rooms.

When Pride events begin in my neck of the woods in about a week from now, I allow myself that time to ruminate on 7 years ago, and how very different life was for me in my twenties…and that I wouldn’t change a moment of truth for all those years of lies and omissions.

Truth is the only safe ground to stand on.
Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815 – 1902)

10 Quotes About Rain

(Please excuse the formatting mess, I’m still hitting my computer with a stick working on it)
I love rain. More than a cloudless sky on a sunny summer day. I love rain.
It’s like an old friend that comes for an embrace and cleans your house and feeds you before it leaves.
Rain on the north atlantic is such a focal point of my life and I miss it every day.
Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.
Rabindranath Tagore
Don’t threaten me with love, baby. Let’s just go walking in the rain.
Billie Holiday
I am a being of Heaven and Earth, of thunder and lightning, of rain and wind, of the galaxies.
Eden Ahbez
I believe in running through the rain and crashing into the person you love and having your lips bleed on each other.
Billy Bob Thorton
I grew up in this town, my poetry was born between the hill and the river, it took its voice from the rain, and like the timber, it steeped itself in the forests.
Pablo Neruda
It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove of homosexuality. It’s like disapproving of rain.
Francis Maude
Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby.
Langston Hughes
Rain is grace; rain is the sky descending to the earth; without rain, there would be no life.
John Updike
“Rain didn’t make things messy.  People did that all on their own.”
Barbara Delinsky
“At night I dream that you and I are two plants that grew together, roots entwined, and that you know the earth and the rain like my mouth, since we are made of earth and rain.”
Pablo Neruda
Pablo is the only man who could talk me straight into bed. His words make me swoon both with love and jealousy.
For your pleasure, here is some rain for you. No music, just the sound of rain.
Enjoy your rainy days,
monkiss